Sunday, February 21, 2010

If He Calls You to Walk on Water... DO IT!

It's Friday morning. Heading to work. Beginning my usual prayer. "God, give me grace and favor today. May everything go well, according to Your plan..." Then I added something: "God, I pray for divine appointments to bring glory to Your Kingdom."

Work went well, then I spent the afternoon preparing a new resume to get a better paying job, then I went out applying. Afterwards, I headed over to Wal-Mart to pick up some necessities like deodorant and socks, things like that. I decided to cut the shopping short and began to head home early. It was about 7:00PM.

Then it began.

I was driving and I suddenly realized how hungry I was. I considered going out for some fast food, but thought better of it. I'd be home in 30 minutes. I could wait. Besides, it would be better to save my money.

But then I had a strange urge to go to Tim Horton's. Suddenly, their sign loomed up ahead as I was driving.

Stop at Tim Horton's.

"Huh? I thought I wasn't going to spend money. I can wait. I'm not THAT hungry."

You have an appointment.

"Are you kidding? That's just me wanting food. Maybe I've been listening to too many stories about people having great conversations about God at places like Starbucks and stuff. God likes going there. But Tim Horton's? C'mon. I'm just hungry. God doesn't want me to go out to eat."

So I kept driving.

You were supposed to meet someone there. Someone was eating by themselves. You were supposed to meet them, talk to them...

"You're kidding."

No, I'm not.

"God, this can't be you."

Yes, it is.

I kept driving. I was uncertain--still convinced that it was my hunger that was driving me. Then I saw a road I could pull into and go back. But I didn't... I kept driving...

There's still time. Turn around.

Still driving... By the time I was on a one-way street, I heard what devastated me to tears.

You missed it. It's too late.

All the way home I worried about the fact I had CLEARLY heard God speaking to me, but I didn't obey the call. Then the rest of the way I kept on having urges to go to the Chinese restaurant in town, but I went straight home instead. Yet again, I missed it. Even as I veered my car away from the road to town to follow the one to my house, I realized I was deliberately fighting the heavenly pull.

When I arrived home, I made up my mind to go into town. I was on a mission. I had already missed my appointment at Tim Horton's. Maybe it wasn't too late for any in town.

But it was...

I went on an unsuccessful treasure hunt, driving around in circles. I kept ignoring the pulls. I told myself they couldn't be from God. But the more I resisted the urges, the more I realized I was losing this game called 'follow God.' I had failed Him.

Condemnation overwhelmed me. "God, will I ever get another chance?" Full of sorrow and regret, I prayed for forgiveness...

Now, today, I was beginning to get into my homework when I felt like the Lord was telling me to read my Bible. "Are you sure, God? Can't it wait 'till I'm finished?"

What's more important? School or Me?

"Is that a trick question?"

I relented. I put my school book aside and got up to get my Bible. Opening where I left off, I began to read today's assigned reading for the plan I was on. At first, I had other things on my mind, so it took effort to focus. Towards the end of the reading, however, I felt oddly intrigued by the content. I wanted to read more, so I kept going into tomorrow's reading. It ended with the story of Jesus walking on water. I'm familiar with the story, but today I read at as I had never before...

Jesus came walking on water to meet the disciples. They were afraid. But Jesus immediately said to them, "It's me, Jesus. Don't be afraid." Peter then sought reassurance. He wanted to test this man who claimed to be the miracle worker. "Lord, if it's You, tell me to come to You on the water." So Jesus said, "Come." Peter obeyed and got out of the boat. He was walking on water! How miraculous and wondrous must it have been! But then he noticed the wind rushing around him as he stood in the middle of the sea. He hesitated. How could this be happening? How could he be walking on water? He must have thought: surely this was not real! He lost faith. He stopped trusting. And he began to sink. "Lord!" he cried out in terror of what was happening, "save me!" Jesus immediately reached out His hand to Peter and caught him. With His strength, He held him up. Tenderly, He said to Peter, "Why didn't you trust me? If I called you to walk on water, did you think I would let you drown? I love you too much. I want you to do great things. I called you to step out and do the impossible. But how could you if you doubt My abilities? How could you if you don't have faith in Me?" Jesus and Peter returned to the boat, and the wind died down. [Paraphrased from Matthew 14:22-32 of the NIV]

I heard the call. But I was hesitant. I feared failure and ended up failing because of that fear. If I had only trusted, I could have done great things in His Kingdom.

Now my prayer is that no matter how hard the wind is blowing may I never give up trusting in Him. I want to do great things, so next time I'm going to act on that trust.

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